


At The End of Everything

by akeetpotato



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Big Damn Heroes, Cap said it reminded him of Discworld???, Eiki saves the Day, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existentialism, Gen, Immortals in Space, Mokou screams Kaguya's name like Guts did in Berserk (1997), People sit on chairs, Post-Canon, Resurrection, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:28:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23022496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akeetpotato/pseuds/akeetpotato
Summary: Mokou had resigned herself to an endless existence of drifting amid the dying stars, as the last living being in the universe. But she didn't expect her desire for justice to be heard. It isn't about what she deserves, it's about what's right. And maybe, after everything that's happened, she can have a second chance at life.
Relationships: Fujiwara no Mokou/Houraisan Kaguya
Comments: 10
Kudos: 50





	At The End of Everything

Drifting in an endless sea of nothing, her vision blurred and useless... was not how Mokou had wanted to spend eternity. 

The endless suffocation didn’t help either, although that had gone from excruciating and terrifying to ‘merely’ an annoyance. Her body still reacted reflexively to the decompressive vacuum, unfortunately, and that had become a far greater annoyance to her than the endless stream of deaths.

Honestly, she wasn’t sure how she was even still _sane_ \- or at least sane enough to remember sanity as a concept that applied to the human mind.

Human… that word was familiar. She had been one of them once- right? It had been so long since she had air to breathe, or ground to stand on, that she couldn’t even begin to even guess the amount of time that had passed.

Mokou had attempted to keep track of the passage of time, of course- desperate for something, anything to break the endless monotony of this non-existence. Without any other event to use as a measure, she had attempted to keep count of the number of times she had died and resurrected- but even that seemed faulty. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she had the idea long before, had lost count somehow, and started over again, repeating that possibly even hundreds or thousands of times.

The only thing that seemed to change was the light from the stars around her. She could have sworn that they had been brighter before, more numerous. She barely felt the radiation on her skin anymore.

Some distant memory informed her that stars did not last forever, that one day they too would burn themselves out to nothing. The thought of being the last light left in the universe felt somehow terrifying to Mokou. As if all the weight of everything that had passed on before her would rest on her shoulders. 

Her thoughts turned again to her fellow immortals. They were out there too, probably suffering in the same way she was. The thought should have made her feel better, but ultimately her emotions were too faded to give anything more than the ghost of a reaction. 

Knowing her luck, the doctor would have figured out some way to nullify the Elixir, which meant they had managed to die and left her behind. The thought made Mokou’s lip curl into a snarl. _Damn you, ____._ Even after Mokou had long since forgotten her name, she was still finding new ways to piss her off. 

So the immortal continued in this state for some time. In all likelihood, an immense amount of time. She died and resurrected in a burst of magic flame again, and in the brief moment where her eyes still worked before the vacuum destroyed them- a hole in space opened up behind her, and she found herself being forcefully yanked backward. 

After so long spent drifting uninterrupted, the alien sensation made her instantly panic. Her mouth opened inarticulately as she tried and failed to scream- her lungs having been empty for eons. 

Mokou found herself resurrecting from suffocation once again, staggering to her feet before she realized that she felt enough gravity for her to have weight. She blinked, before realizing that there was now an atmosphere for her to breathe. The sensation of simply _feeling_ again overwhelmed her, so it took some time before she was able to pull herself together enough to open her eyes again.

Her vision blurred and swam as she struggled to keep her balance. Mokou could feel the frigid and shattered stone underneath her feet. She stumbled, catching herself on her hands and knees, the realization gradually dawning on her that she was still getting used to the simple act of seeing again.

Even with her feeble sight, she could make out the dark skies above, without a sun or moon. There was only the faintest light of dusk to illuminate the distant blurs that could be mountains, worn down to nothing by the sands of time- or so she thought. Without the light, she could not be certain of anything.

Before her sat two blurred objects, the only interruptions she could see in the endless expanse of brown and grey that stretched out in all directions around her. The thing closest to her was brown in color, about waist-height, indistinct in form. 

Mokou blinked, trying to will her eyes to function again. The other thing had the rough outline of a seated figure- human, or at the very least, human-like in shape. A blob of green sat atop its head region... which could generously be considered hair. She couldn’t see them clearly either. 

A voice echoed through the silence.

“Come and sit.”  
The figure slowly reached forth a roughly hand-shaped object, gesturing to the brown thing (a ‘chair’?) with an unhurried motion.

For a moment, Mokou considered the possibility that this was merely another hallucination, her mind’s desperate desire for some sort of stimulation. But this was still infinitely more interesting than the nothingness.

So Mokou began to come closer, pushing herself back to her feet. But the moment she put one foot in front of the other, the world spun underneath her and she overcorrected, arms flailing to keep from falling. The second hobbling, tentative step was somewhat smoother until she stubbed her toe into something, causing her to hiss in pain as she staggered forward. 

Pulling herself up onto what she felt was a raised dais of stone, Mokou finished the journey to the brown thing, reaching out to it. The sensation of smooth cloth beneath her hands took her by surprise, until she realized that she was touching some sort of robe or blanket draped atop the ‘chair’.

Mokou wrapped the cloth around her body, feeling its warmth on her bare skin with satisfaction. She slumped into a seat, realizing it was a metal folding chair by its creaking under her weight. But her eyes still couldn’t make out the seated figure’s features.

“Good.” The voice continued, speaking clearly and distinctly. “Can you tell me your name?”

Mokou realized that she had been asked a direct question. For a brief, terrifying moment, nothing came to her mind as she tried to recall the answer. After everything else she had lost, there was no logical reason for this to grip her so. But without her name, could she really consider herself to be anything at all?

“Mokou.” she breathed, remembering the process of speech as she did so. The breath came from the lungs, the mouth and the tongue moved to form it into words. It was a minor miracle in itself. “My name.” There had been more to it once, she could feel, but it was gone now. Along with everything else.

“Good.” A curve of white split the figure’s face- a smile, that’s what it was called. “You still understand.” 

As those relieved words hung in the air between them, the immortal felt the stirrings of something about her, a feeling of brief sharpness and clarity. The faint outlines of mountains in the distance began to grow clearer, but the nearby objects remained blurred.

The other figure continued, leaning forward in its chair in apparent interest. “Mokou, do you know who you’ve been?”

Mokou returned their gaze, uncomprehending. She had her name, but that told her nothing. She was alive- that meant her heart beat and her lungs breathed. She was alive, and all else escaped her- but the words to describe any of that were beyond her grasp.

“My apologies.” The other figure- no, _her_ face fell slightly at seeing Mokou’s silent reaction. “Maybe we require a new approach.” 

Mokou’s vision swam again, fully coming into focus. For the first time, she looked upon her conversation partner clearly, seeing a black skirt and a blue vest over a white shirt. Her posture was perfect, heels pressed close together. Her hands were empty, and her close-cropped green hair was unburdened by a headpiece.

Somehow, Mokou felt that she should remember her, that memories of this person lay somewhere deep within the eons of her past. Her lips moved to form a question of her own. “Who are you?”

Something indefinite about the woman tightened, a well-worn and practiced air adopted. And when she spoke again, it was if each word etched itself into the ground, stamped itself into her heart, and shook the frail, lingering heavens themselves. “I am the one who measures the weight of sins, the Supreme Judge of Paradise.” 

For that brief moment, it was if the two had been transported to another place: A room, overwhelming in scale and austere in purpose, a place beyond this world.

Then the Judge let out a long sigh, letting her trappings fall away. The moment passed, fading in the wind. “...but that was a long time ago. You may call me Eiki. I came here to check on you.” 

“I… feel like I should know you.” Mokou breathed, the words pouring out of her with reckless abandon. The wind picked up, its coldness causing her to shiver.

“We have met before, but we haven’t spoken. And you…” A new demeanor was cast on Eiki’s face now. Her eyes were alight with an energy that Mokou lacked the words to name. 

“You’ve lived a little too long, haven’t you?” she spoke, the words like raindrops in the dry air.

The tattered memories of an empty eternity returned to the immortal, and she choked back a strangled laugh. “Could say that.” Her slouching posture deepened as she pulled her cloak tighter, raising her red eyes to stare Eiki down from underneath her matted silver hair. “Is this my judgment?”

“No.” The singular word fell like a gavel strike. “You are outside my jurisdiction. And your sin isn’t something as great as that. What good would come of further punishment, beyond what’s already happened to you?”

“Why, then?” Mokou breathed.

“Time is up.” came the reply. “You’ve seen the stars fading. Everyone else has moved on, Mokou. I’m just here to turn out the light at the end.” There was no darkness to the proclamation- it remained as a simple statement of fact.

Mokou had suspected that she was alone, but the confirmation was still a heavy weight upon her. It was also a relief as well, to know without a shadow of a doubt, to lack the burden of wondering if there was anything or anyone else out there.

“In your case, I came to offer you a choice.” Eiki continued.

“A choice?” Mokou blinked.

“I cannot grant you death. But I can give you a chance to move on, to the new world.”

“What are you saying?” she asked, not daring to hope. Reaching beyond her jumbled mess of emotions, Mokou grasped the concept of choice again. 

Eiki opened her right hand before her, palm up. “You can come with me, to a new world where there is life, and carve out a little space for yourself.” She repeated the action with her left. “Or you can remain alone here, if that is your wish.”

A thousand thoughts and emotions flowed over and through Mokou. She grasped a hold of the most solid, and managed to choke out a “Why?” 

“Because it is who I am.” Eiki leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes. “The law is decided and judged by humans. Sins that cannot be judged by laws, are decided and judged at my discretion. A failure to act, that is also a sin in my sight. It does not matter who or what, no one deserves to be left in the darkness forever.” Her eyes opened again, but she was gazing at something far away. “That is why I intervened.”

“So, you’d even judge yourself?” Mokou asked, slowly comprehending.

“Of course.” Eiki replied matter-of-factly, no hesitation in her words or demeanor as she spoke. “If I cannot uphold righteousness in myself, how can I expect to uphold it in the lives of others?”

As she saw that Mokou had nothing to say, Eiki continued. “You are not the only one in this situation. I offered to help two women just before you-”

But her words did not reach. In a daze, Mokou felt a pounding sensation from within her chest- her heart quaked and shook and felt about to burst, overflowing with _something_. The burning heat flowed over and through her, sweeping her away, her cheeks flushed and hands trembling uncontrollably. _She’s… alive? She’s alive… she’s alive..._

“So you know who they were,” Eiki said with bemusement. “If you come with me, you’ll be able to see them again.” 

The ex-Yama paused, letting the gravity of her words sink in. “It may not be much of a choice- but it is still yours to make. I will not abide you being placed in a situation that you despise.” 

As the silence lingered, the only sound was that of the winds that continued to blow across the empty plains. “Please take your time. We have plenty of that here.” Eiki urged.

But the immortal had had more than enough time to think already. “Alright, I’ll do it.” she declared.

“Oh?” The unflappable ex-Yama raised an eyebrow quizzically. “You’ve decided so quickly? Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’ll come with you.” The immortal shrugged, speaking glibly. “Was getting pretty tired of drifting like that.” 

Eiki had been right. It wasn’t much of a choice, really. But it was still a choice. Mokou felt her cheeks tighten and her mouth twist upward- a smile. That’s what that was. When was the last time she had smiled?

“I understand.” Eiki replied, a smile of her own giving way to her professional demeanor once again. Reaching into a fold of her clothing, she withdrew an angular piece of wood. With a wave of her hand, a tear in the tattered and worn-down fabric of reality appeared, its edges crackling with darkness. She looked completely unperturbed at the sight as she nodded, before turning her gaze back to the immortal. “Right this way, please.”

Mokou pushed herself up from her chair, holding her makeshift robe tightly about her. The stone felt cold beneath her feet as she crossed the dias. 

But when she was a single pace away from the tear, she halted in her tracks.

“What’s wrong?” Eiki asked in concern, stepping closer. 

“Do I… just jump in?” Mokou replied, glancing at the tear’s dangerous-looking aura as it swirled and twisted hungrily. 

“Yes.” Eiki urged calmly. “Do not be afraid.”

Mokou turned back to the tear, before pausing again. “What’s going to happen to you?”

“Not to worry. I will be right behind you.” Mokou couldn’t see her face, but she could hear the confident smile in Eiki’s words.

Borrowing that confidence, Mokou took one small step forward. The tear took her away-

-

The unpleasant sensations of being flung through time and space were familiar, exactly like when she had been abducted from her drifting state before. Mokou tried to open her eyes, but the nothingness surrounding her on every side brought back memories of drifting before, and she swiftly closed them again.

She found herself gently coming to rest, her hands and knees growing damp as they pressed into a loose, prickly material that she felt herself sinking into. It was a far cry from the solid, cold stone from before. 

Mokou opened her eyes, recalling that this was grass beneath her, covered in morning dew. Her eyes opened wide, her mouth dropping. She looked up. And up. And up.

The sky was a brilliant, cloudless blue. The sound of birdsong and a nearby brook babbling filled the air. Mokou took one deep, disbelieving breath in, then another. She smelled the richness of the earth, the sweet fragrance of the crushed grass, an overwhelming mixture that overloaded her senses.

Rocking her weight backward, she collapsed into a seated position, still awestruck at the impossibility of having returned to a living place once more. Above the stately peaks, a newborn sun shone down upon those verdant hills and sweeping plains. The light- such a simple thing- but she had almost forgotten what that felt like.

“Ah, there you are.” Came a familiar voice, approaching from somewhere behind her. 

Mokou reflexively spasmed but caught herself before she could rise to her feet in a panic. She let out a long breath, slowly lowering herself back into a relaxed slouch. “Don’t sneak up on me like that…” she grumbled.

“My apologies.” Eiki replied, coming to a halt at Mokou’s left. Her hands were clasped behind her back as she surveyed the terrain, a glint of pride in her eye. “Is everything to your liking, Mokou?”

At a loss for words to describe how she felt, Mokou simply nodded yes.

“Good.” Eiki smiled. “It wasn’t easy, especially organizing the immigration efforts. There’s still a lot of people still on the waiting list…” Her words trailed off, the ex-Yama thinking twice. “But maybe that’s best saved for another time.” She gestured with her right arm, to one of the tallest peaks on the horizon. “Do you see?”

Mokou squinted, picking out the outlines of a red tower that stood amid the grey stone. “Our new offices,” Eiki explained. “Feel free to visit me.”

She was midway through nodding her agreement again, when a thought came to Mokou’s mind. “Ain’t you busy, though?” She asked.

“For your case, I will make time.” Came the reply. When it was said with those words and that smile, Mokou thought that Eiki’s wording could be very literal. 

“Alright then,” Mokou grunted, pushing herself to her feet, feeling a slight unsteadiness. It seemed it would take time for her to psychologically acclimate to walking around again.

“There’s fresh water in the stream nearby, and plenty of edible plants are ripe this time of year.” Eiki explained. “There shouldn’t be any poisonous ones.”

“Even if there are, it wouldn’t matter much to me.” Mokou chuckled. 

“Perhaps.” Eiki sighed. “Let me know if you find any, I’d need to have words with our gardener.” 

Mokou nodded, turning toward the sound of the stream. “And another thing.” came Eiki’s voice.

“Hmm?” Mokou turned back to face her companion.

“Follow the stream downriver.” Eiki smiled. “To meet your new neighbors.”

Mokou laughed without reservation. “Yeah, why not?” She waved her goodbye, and saw Eiki give one in return. 

It was only after she’d reached the stream and began following it that Mokou realized that she had not thanked the ex-Yama for any of the priceless things that she had done. 

For a moment, she paused, feeling uncertain and undeserving. 

But she hadn’t survived this long by living in the past. She set her jaw and moved on, resolving herself to visit Eiki soon, and to find some way to express the depth of her thanks before then.

The sound of voices came through the trees. Mokou froze instinctively, a flame flickering to life around her right hand- before she relaxed, dismissing it slowly. This was a new world, with new chances. If she needed to fight, she could be ready to do so in an instant.

Mokou stepped forward into a small clearing, where several large rocks set into the creek’s bank made a natural spot to relax. Two women had already occupied the space, however. One with long silver hair, standing at attention beside one of the rocks, pontificating to her seated companion, who was about to break into a laugh-

Ah. Mokou _knew her_. She _knew_ that perfectly proportioned face, that impossibly long, silky black hair, that damn coquettish smile. 

“Kaguya…” she growled. The two wheeled about to face her, their expressions of shock changing to recognition. 

“So you do remember me, huh?” Mokou shouted, feeling her emotions begin to rise and overflow again. It was like a floodgate had burst, like a bomb exploded behind her eyes. Those previous endless years of darkness resting inside her soul were obliterated with the raging light of her inner flame. 

Her face was alight too, now, even as she chanted a quick spell and arcane energies swirled through the air. Kaguya was smiling too, hungrily, desperately, the same as the expression that Mokou knew was mirrored on her own face. She knew that her eternal rival had missed her too, just as much.

“KAGUYA!” Mokou roared, already wreathed in flames as she leapt through the air, winding back for a savage blow.

Now she remembered what that familiar feeling was, from so long ago. The reason for its existence had long since been lost.

But as the two locked eyes and the duel began- such things as reasons why were meaningless. As they clashed and struck, they formed meaning anew in the resulting embers. 

And as the new creators looked down upon their new world, with its hills and trees and animals and squabbling immortals- they saw that it was good.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, if you're reading this, thanks. 
> 
> Seriously, thank you for taking your time to check out this thing I made. You don't know how much that means to me. 
> 
> If anything, this was an experiment of sorts- was I able to start with a big, lofty concept and manage to pare it down and trim the fat to make it a succinct short story? Could I resist the urges to write a bunch of extra stuff that I thought was interesting but would ultimately drag things down? Would I be capable of producing something that would be able to live up to my own perfectionist standards so that I could be genuinely proud of something I've made?
> 
> Well, I guess I'm not sure about the answers to that. But I do know that I've got a lot more ideas, and I'm excited to keep working on them.
> 
> Just a few notes about this story in particular:
> 
> 1\. I had the concept over four months ago, as the idea of Mokou being rescued from her space-drifting loneliness by Eiki who can offer her another chance. 
> 
> The main reason why I didn't post it sooner was my struggle with getting Eiki right as a character. She expresses the absolutely best parts of the Lawful Good ideology, and that is very personally important to me. Especially her role here. So after I managed to overcome my uncertainties, I spent a lot longer reading and rereading her canon dialogue and conversing with my betas. (special shoutout to Dr_Latenshi, Capellan, and Taberone) 
> 
> I'm still certain I could have improved on her and possibly Mokou, but I can't let myself be held back by my own fears and doubts like that. In the end, it still always comes down to a leap of faith.
> 
> 2\. So what's going on here that's being left unsaid? Well, you could debate things like 'Is Mokou just hallucinating the whole thing' or 'How is Eiki still alive after this long?' Fair questions.
> 
> It all being a dream is a valid interpretation. I personally prefer it being literal, but I can see the appeal of that. As for Eiki still being alive, it's possible that someone has taken up her role and legacy. Or, my favorite, that as long as people have a desire for justice to be served, she's not going anywhere. The thematics and emotions are probably what's more important than the literal events, anyway.
> 
> 3\. Dr_Latenshi shared this song with me and I thought it was pretty great and fitting thematically.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBGFMz4jlOg
> 
> Nothing else to say, I just really like it.


End file.
